Maybe this is as good as it gets…

You’re with a person…You love them…You’re happy…This person pretty much comes CLOSE to passing what you’re looking for in a mate…You say to yourself, I think this is it! BUT…

When the BUT starts to cloud your original vision because you met someone that fits damn near perfect to your original dream, what now?

Too good to be true, huh? So you question yourself/your situation…

He/She is beautiful/handsome but they don’t keep themselves up as often as I’d like.

Can I settle for this?

They don’t care if they increased 3 sizes within a 6 month span enough to motivate themselves to make a lifestyle change WITHOUT me mentioning something.

Can I settle for this?

Yeah, they spoke of goals and they seemed driven and focused BUT… I’ll give them 3 more years on top of these 2, their still planning. They’ll get it together soon.<- O_o

Can I settle for this?

They talk spiritual but their actions don’t quite mirror what they spoke on. Hmmm! Maybe their just waiting for the right time. YUP!

Can I settle for this?

I’m looking for a support team, a partner who “gets me” without me having to say it. A partner who reads me and sums up my situation without having to checkout the contents. A partner who speaks and actively grows into my life. Oh, it’s ok…their a little off with all that BUT maybe if I send a heads up text/email reminder maybe they’ll work on it. Maybe?!? Oh but wait, their inconsistent with returning messages. It’s cool, I’ll get a reply back in 72 hrs. O_o

Can I settle for this?

We often settle thinking we can’t get the best because it may seem unrealistic. We curb, slice, tweak our original plan cause we just think “This is as good as it’s gonna get.” This is where complacency enters the forefront which kills that inner desire of what really want.

Take for a example your “original” plan…
A mate you envisioned with characteristics of Honesty, Consistency, A sense of humor, Faith, Sense of time management, Patience, Knows the difference between empathy and sympathy, Humility, Kindness, The strength to trust, Dreams, Confidence, Creativity, Goals, Drive to stay fit and you NEVER having to check them about their slackness about hitting the gym. <-Ahem! *Hint* #DearFutureHIM Ok….Moving right along… : ) The person you’re with is lacking in some of these areas past a comfortable zone you can tolerate. But maybe that’s not settling to you. Everyone is different.

Nothing is perfect but I constantly hear people in these situations complain so much. I learn so much from these situations. I embrace this exploration I’m going through with my singleness to learn what I’m willing to tolerate, what I want, and what my deal breakers are. If you’re in a relationship and not yet married, you have time to revaluate.

Now why would I want to throw that inner desire away for the sake of playing it “safe”?

I want to be filled with joy and happiness everyday I’m with this person.

I want to crave their energy.

I want to experience things together.

I observe so many unhappy couples who can admit to “playing it safe” because they thought it couldn’t get any better than it is. They live stressed “shoulda, coulda, damn why didn’t I do that” lives because they settled. Many times this results in cheating. Instead of facing that truth they rather work around it which makes it worst. When will the torture stop? I know its hard to break away from “comfort” but not doing so in a situation your heart clearly isn’t content with, what are you actually gaining? Genuine relationships and solid families are lacking these days so be mindful of the choices you make due to comfort, safety, and fear. We shouldn’t have to simmer our true happiness because this person is good to me but doesn’t quite complete me or we have history and our families and friends are connected and I’ll feel bad breaking that up. Your future FAMILY and happiness depends on this decision, so choose to follow your heart and not that comfort zone.

Thanks for reading! : )

There’s something extraordinary when we stop apologizing for who we are. -Viola Davis

About sassydspirits

Sassy D is a mom, student, friend who is emerging through life with faith, and a bubbly spirit of hope and determination to align herself with purpose and her destiny. She’s educated, funny, hardworking, resourceful, goal orientated, kind, loving and so much more. She aspires to become a yoga instructor, philanthropist, and business woman. She has a love for the arts. She enjoys music, dance, performance and poetry. She loves fashion, health, traveling, and exploring new things optimistically at least once. Through words and actions she hopes to energize bodies, liberate minds, and heal hearts. Her focus is on the individual, specifically, on the power one has to make a difference in oneself, and in the lives of others.

Posted on June 11, 2012, in Random Sass Thoughts and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 1 Comment.

  1. A friend of mine said “Listen, we all date assholes till we meet the right one.” At the time I thought it was a harsh statement, but he’s right. Not that the people I date are assholes; because who we choose to date is a reflection of who we are and what we think we want. While dating, we are really testing out the combination of qualities, characteristics, and life desires we are looking for. We discover the things that we thought we wanted might not be what we need.

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